Hi, I'm Melissa. A few years ago I never thought I'd be building a site called Borderline and Beyond…
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to start again. BPD has been at the root of so many of my problems. Honestly, I was exhausted. My life had been chaotic. I’d made a lot of bad decisions — but life hadn’t exactly been kind to me either.
When I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I felt vindicated.
“Aha! That’s why I am the way I am. It’s not my fault.”
But the relief was short-lived. It also felt like a death sentence — like my life was always going to be hard, doomed to end in misery. And for a while, I believed it.
“I don’t know how I’m still alive… but here I am.”
I’ll share more of my story elsewhere, but to cut a very long (and very messy) story short:
I ended up homeless.
An addict.
My family had fallen apart.
I would go to sleep begging —
*If there’s a God, please don’t let me wake up.*
Turns out, there is a God.
And I’m so grateful He didn’t listen.
I had no fight left. The housing department didn’t want to know.
I was in total self-destruct mode — in terrifying situations.
I honestly don’t know how I’m still alive… but here I am.
“I had nothing left. But somehow, I’m still here.”
I was lucky to get a place at the Salvation Army hostel — though at times, it felt like going from the frying pan into the fire.
It was chaotic, noisy, and I was still surrounded by drugs. I was miserable.
I kept telling myself: “When I get out of here, I’ll sort my addictions.”
But then one day it hit me:
“If I can do it here, I can do it anywhere.”
I started my recovery journey.
I signed up for a short residential course on Confidence and Motivation.
It was peaceful. It was quiet. The food was better.
The room was basic — but after the hostel, it felt like 5-star.
That one course changed everything.
It led to another… and another… and eventually, over 25.
Maths. English. Digital skills. Autism awareness.
And finally, my Access to Health Science diploma — with distinctions.
“That first course didn’t just change my mindset – it changed my direction.”
In the space of two years, I’ve gone from complete despair… to actually looking forward to the future.
I’m off to university in September.
I’ve booked a holiday.
I’m rebuilding my relationship with my kids and family.
I have the best cat in the world- Ziggy!
I’m volunteering, sharing my story to help others — and I’ve just got a job working in the very sector I once relied on for support.
I have good friends. I have hope.
For over 30 years, trauma, addiction and BPD shaped everything.
Now, I’m the one shaping my life.
Some days are still messy. I still stumble — but I no longer spiral.
Now I know how to get back up, and that makes all the difference.
This isn’t the end of the story.
It’s the beginning of something real.
“I’m no longer barely surviving – I’m thriving.”
